I am most definitely lamenting the loss of heat, here in my neck of the woods, the nights have go down to the low forties and the days in the low seventies. I know that I shouldn’t complain but it is not as if the thermometer is going to go up from here. It is only going to continue on the downward progression into cooler and cooler temperatures until I can officially call it cold. Not happy. The days are getting shorter, it is not getting dark at seven, it is much too early for it to be dark. Can’t it stay light until eight for just a little while longer? I am not ready for this change of seasons, not yet!
This week I’ve been laid up by this bout of pneumonia, so I haven’t been doing much of anything except for walking Rex and Jack because Rex has to be walked or else his joints stiffen up quite badly and since he has now been on his new anti-inflammatory medicines and his pain pills, it is very important to strengthen the muscles surrounding his joints. I figure it probably does me some good as well, get me out of the house and away from depressing thoughts. However when I see the leaves falling all around us as we traverse the park, it has put me in a gloomier mood. All that came into mind as I was walking them just before is “Oh, just wonderful, after the leaves, then the snow and I am going to exhaust myself making pathways so that my arthritic old man dog can walk in the park and the little baby boy Jack can happily follow without getting lost in all the snow”. And I don’t even know if we are going to have snow in the first place because if I take last winter as an example, we didn’t have any, aside from the big snowstorm of last October.
I used to look forward to the fall season when I was younger. I remember going through the huge fall fashion magazines in France such as Elle and Vogue, even Marie Claire and see all the newest clothes and dream of dressing like that back in the States. This year I didn’t even bother looking at the magazines because the economy was so bad that the stores hadn’t even put out their fall fashions, they were still running sales on their summer lines.
This season also carries the promise of fall stews, apple pies, pear tart tatins and warm hearty soups but now with the baby girl gone and the baby boy busy with school and his job, all this promise of fall cooking with no one to cook for is depressing. Empty nest syndrome in its first stages, how to adjust to cooking for one without sadness.
Boy do I feel ill, I usually never sink this low into a dark mood. I have been thinking of sweet things to eat but I know that when your body is ill the last thing in the world it needs is sugar because that is a huge inflammatory agent and my lungs are inflamed enough with the pneumonia bug. What my brain wants is the endorphin/serotonin buzz and it is not going to get it through exercise, so it is calling for sweets but I will stay strong and say NO.
Tomorrow is another day and another day where I will feel better and my mood will lighten and after typing all of this I do feel a little better. So I say au revoir because adieu is too final.