These past few days, I have been reading a lot about other people’s New Year’s resolutions. They are everywhere; in all of the magazines, a variety of Blogs and even the Huffington Post. I suppose that resolutions and “best of” lists go hand in hand this time of year. I stopped making resolutions a long time ago. It isn’t because I think that I have achieved everything that I need to be, far from it. I just never found that making resolutions worked for me. I would eventually forget that I had made them, and if you forget about making a resolution, then really, what is the point?
My battle with control over my tendencies to fall back into anorexic behavior isn’t something that I can leave up to a once a year reckoning. This is something that I must be mindful of at all times, it goes hand in hand with my tendency to lapse into depression. Though I have to acknowledge that finding WordPress has helped me keep my depressions at bay and I am grateful for it. I know that writing has given me an outlet and I have found solace through this outlet. I may never be a writer, but writing has given me so much that it doesn’t matter.
I think that I like reading about what other’s are resolved to accomplish because I am curious, plain and simple. I am curious as to what makes people tick and making resolutions is one part of it. I know that one of the most common New Year’s resolutions is to quit smoking, I quit 6 years ago on November 1st. I had tried quitting so many times before, I probably made a New year’s resolution at one point, only to probably break it within days, but the last time has stuck. I think that my past failures with the smoking thing may have influenced my personal jaded view of resolutions.
All I know is that I have found a few strategies that help me and they are easy enough; eat a good breakfast everyday, walk briskly for at least twenty minutes every day if possible, write every day and be mindful of how my emotional and mental state are holding up. I have found that as long as my spirits are up, I can do everything that I set my mind to. It is so weird, I truly believe that at my core, I am an optimist, but I have this small part of me that is so dark, sad and heavy and it sometimes takes so much work to make it stay locked away. I seriously hate that part of my psyche, I wish that I could just flush it out, but it doesn’t work that way. Thank goodness for writing, that’s all that I have to say.