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Tag Archives: parenting

Daily prompt: Fight or flight

26 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by laurieanichols in postaday, postaday2015, Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

missing, parenting, postaday2015

Write about your strongest memory of heart-pounding, belly-twisting nervousness: what caused the adrenaline? Was it justified? How did you respond?

The first time that I remember being scared was when I was just six years old. I somehow was allowed to walk home from first grade alone, the reason why I think this is because I have images of myself sitting on my book bag talking to my class mate after school, talking and talking, completely unaware of the time. I remember at one point standing up, thinking that I might have stayed there for too long and that is when my fear started to build. I quickly said goodbye and started running towards home. When I finally got there, my landlord was sitting on the front stoop playing with my little sister who was a toddler and he looked worried. He was relieved when he saw me running towards him, I could tell from his smile. Mister Brunner was one of the nicest men that I have ever met in my life; he was the best landlord that anyone could ever ask for and my sister and I were so very lucky to have him as our babysitter.

That day is still etched in my mind as if it has been chiseled there. Mister Brunner told me that my parents had gone to the police station, they had been that scared when I hadn’t showed up on time from school. The fear sitting in my stomach was so deep and so bad that I felt nauseous and I couldn’t even stand up, I laid down on my bed and when my parents finally came home, my mother charged into my room and gave me a spanking that was filled with such anger and fear that I wet my pants. I started crying even before the spanking had landed on my bottom, my tears were from being terrified of my mother’s anger. I definitely didn’t like it when she was angry.

Being a parent now, I can understand the fear that can consume you when your child is late and you don’t know where they are, but I have been lucky thus far. I am also not my mother, I practice deep breathing and can talk myself down from bursts of anger. 

My mother’s angry reaction to my being late at coming home from school reminds me of a scene from that wonderful movie “Parenthood” starring Steve Martin, Mary Steenbergen and Jason Robards. Jason Robards plays the patriach who has a difficult relationship with his son played by Steve Martin and he explains his inability to connect with Steve Martin’s character by telling him about the time Jason Robards was told by the doctor that Steve Martin’s character might have polio and how it had filled him so deeply with abject fear that he had hated him for it. He had hated the power that unconditional love had over him and how powerless he felt because of it. My mother must have felt the same way and I was too little to understand it, all that I understood was that I was so very scared of my mother and her wrath.

The baby girl went back to school sniff, sniff

10 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by laurieanichols in postaday, postaday2014, Uncategorized

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Tags

babies, parenting, postaday2014, school

Our baby girl left for Miami today, I am happy for her and relieved that she is so excited to be at Miami. On the other hand, I miss her already. The minute she left, our baby boy took her to the airport, the house seemed less; less full, less everything. When the baby boy was away at school, it was hard to adjust, what made it easier was that he was much closer and now having him home, I’m happy knowing that he is busy plotting his music career and making progress with his band with their music videos, gigs and recordings.

Last year when the baby girl was at Becker, she was only an hour away and she came back often on weekends, Miami is so far away. I’m glad that during her Christmas break, we did a lot together. This time we aren’t going to see her until possibly late May, it is so far away. She has already talked about how she isn’t going to be here for her birthday, she wants me to mail her a cheesecake, lol. She is going to be twenty, where does the time go? We will figure out what to do for her birthday, she needn’t worry.

The babies did spoil me these past few weeks; they, without my asking or even mentioning it, put all of the Christmas decorations away and they have been doing the dishes, taking care of Jack and just being the best children that you can ask for. I am so lucky.

I am going to do more face time with the baby girl much more often, it will be very good for both of us. It will make the distance less glaring. I am seriously happy for her that she is at a place that makes her excited, curious and independent. I hope that every day, she wakes up curious as to what new thing might happen, what new person she might meet or what new opportunities could present themselves.

No one can ever adequately explain the complexities of parenthood. How no matter how old they get, you can so easily conjure up memories of babyhood and toddlerhood at the drop of a hat. We talk about the push and pull of children towards their parents, but we neglect the talk about the push and pull of parents towards their children. I know that an important part of successful parenting is to provide your children with the best tools for becoming independent and strong, but it is so easy to fall into patterns of wanting to protect them, take care of them and do for them. That is part of why parenting can be tricky, walking the fine balance between the two.

I am a very lucky Maman to have two wonderful babies.

42.179962 -72.925837

A parenting forum that I am reblogging

20 Wednesday Mar 2013

Posted by laurieanichols in postaday, postaday2013, Uncategorized

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Tags

advice, forums, parenting, postaday2013, reblogging, support

I thought that this was quite interesting, given that when you are released from the hospital with your newborn and all that they give you is a pamphlet, any forum with thoughts on parenting might be welcome.

Parenting And Stuff

logo

OK, I know, not all of you waited for this moment exactly, but I worked so hard on it, I needed to get your attention, didn’t I? 😉

For those of you who followed my journey, and for those who have no idea what I’m talking about:

I promised (here)

I complained (a lot, here )

And finally I made it!  Here:

 www.parents-space.com

View original post 406 more words

Parenting is challenging

04 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by laurieanichols in postaday, postaday2013, Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

children, parenting, postaday2013, relationships, university

No matter how long you do it for, parenting never ceases to present new challenges. When children leave the nest, you would think that the worrying would decrease to minimal levels. Until a phone call comes from a certain child who is away at school and unhappiness is on the other end of the telephone. The unhappiness is important to the said child but in the grand scheme of things, it does not register on a red alert which I am so very happy to report but still unhappiness is not an optimal thing for a college student, repercussions can multiply and then amplify the initial unhappiness, hence the worrying. I am grateful that said child calls often and I get to monitor the pulse of the emotional well-being of my baby. I am not worried about my baby in terms of her academics, I worry that certain acquaintances in her circle are sucking her emotional vitality away from her. So while I’m listening, I’m thinking that all she wants and needs is someone to listen, not offer advice. It was a little too hard to refrain from giving a little advice which I quickly stopped doing after she let me know that she isn’t me. I didn’t say it but what I really wanted to do was slap every single person responsible for making my baby girl unhappy.

I know that she will be fine but I am still not happy with those people. It is a part of life to learn how to deal with all types of people but usually you don’t have to live in such close quarters all the time. Experiences such as these do promote strength of character or so I have been told, but as a parent your first instinct is to want to shield your baby from these sort of experiences and when they are little you are allowed. Only when they are big do you get tortured with the fact that you have been relegated to observational status. Don’t care too much for the observational status when my baby is sad but I need to learn to accept it. She will be fine; she is bright, smart, strong, resilient and kind.

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