Here we go again

Tags

biopsy, ice cream, postaday2016, therapeutic

Tomorrow I’m scheduled for a lung biopsy at Massachusetts General in Boston. I have to admit I’m rather anxious about it, the nodule, that is what my oncologist calls it, has increased in size rapidly in the last three CT scans that I have had since last December. The biopsy is to definitively confirm my doctor’s suspicions, malignancy and then if what he surmises proves to be correct, I’ll be scheduled for surgery to exercise the malignancy. I am relieved that if it is cancerous, the protocol is surgical and not chemotherapy, I don’t know if I can handle another round of chemo, it is much too soon. I don’t have that much intestinal fortitude.

Intellectually, I know that whatever they find, it is in the earliest stages, so I don’t have to worry about it, but emotionally this is tough. The word cancer hasn’t lost its ability to strike fear even after you have gone through it successfully. So I am trying to reconcile the conflicting aspects dueling inside my person, my head that is rationally aware I’m not in danger and my emotional self that is thrown by this news so soon after my bout with esophageal cancer in the beginning of this year.

I’ve been sitting on this news since June 28th, I knew I was going to have to have a lung biopsy, but it wasn’t until I received the letter announcing the date it was to be done that it became real and more than a little daunting. I was fine before this, I was able to block it out of my mind, now with it being tomorrow, my stomach is uneasy.

I know I’ll be fine, but I decided to write about it because it is therapeutic to get my fears and emotions out on “paper”. I was going to say it was either write about it or indulge in ice cream, but I realized it didn’t have to be an either or situation, all things considered, I deserve a little bit of ice cream.

Daily prompt: 32 flavors

Tags

flavors, ice cream, postaday2015

Vanilla, chocolate, or something else entirely?

I have had a few different favorite flavors over the course of my lifetime. My first favorite ice cream flavor was called Heavenly Hash made by Light and Lovely; it was chocolate ice cream mixed with marshamellow, chocolate chips and chopped up almonds, my mother would pick out all of the nuts and leave me the ice cream to eat, that was heavenly; the day that Light and Lovely went out of business was a very sad, sad day for my mother and I.

The next ice cream flavor that I found to become my new favorite was chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, the one made by Edy’s. I did have a brief flirtation with Oreo ice cream, but I found it a little to chemical tasting for me. I know deep down that raw chocolate chip cookie dough is bad for me no matter how I slice it, but in ice cream form, it conveniently becomes okay.

However in France, I go immediately for the fruit when it comes to ice cream or gelato; I love white peach, mango, canteloupe and of course the chocolate and the sea salt caramel ice creams. They are each delicious and it is so very hard to pick a favorite.

Ice cream is one of the best things to have ever been invented; bless the person who invented this amazing concoction.





Stress, stress go away…

Tags

ice cream, overeating, postaday2012, stress

• Calgon, take me away…
• 163/365

  What do I do? I do what I know that I shouldn’t do, I eat ice cream. A little ice cream never hurts but I take it to the extreme. I can easily eat a carton of ice cream while watching t.v, I know that I am going to do it and at that moment in time, I don’t care. Am I proud of this? No, but as long as I am mindful and don’t do it everyday perhaps one of these days I will find something else to replace my ice cream affliction.

Fighting the sugar monster

Tags

cravings, fat, ice cream, postaday2012, sugar

As I was walking Rex and Jack, I was wondering what I should write about this evening. It hit me very quickly, why not write about that craving for Edy’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that is sitting in the freezer and has been plaguing me since this afternoon. Perhaps by writing about it, I will exercise this intense craving out of my system. I was fine yesterday, I didn’t even think about it at all. Today is definitely not the same, ordinarily I wouldn’t worry about it, but over the past few weekends, I have over indulged and I really want to take a nice break from sugar and fat, which unfortunately for me, ice cream my favorite indulgence, has it in abundance.
Now, I pay attention to what the health and fitness “experts” have to say when you encounter a craving; they offer many easy tips such as making sure that you aren’t dehydrated, eat a piece of fruit, do an activity or write about it. So far, I have been drinking coffee, water and diet ginger ale, I ate oatmeal for breakfast and then a banana at 11:00. I walked the dogs twice by this time, I then had a turkey, provolone cheese sandwich with mustard on 15 grain bread for lunch. I wrote 4 political posts on my other blog, A Progressive’s thoughts. When that wasn’t enough of a distraction from my craving, I went outside and vacuumed the pool and then skimmed it to make it nice and clean. I fed the dogs, ate an orange and then walked them again. Craving is still with me. I really don’t want to give into the ice cream craving because tomorrow I will feel even fatter than I do today. I am wondering if today is all about hormones, I hope that it is because if I stay strong,this should be over tomorrow, theoretically. If not, I’ll probably cave and I don’t want to do that. I shouldn’t think about tomorrow, I have to just worry about today and today is almost over.