Write 500 words on any topic you like. Now remove half the words, without changing the essence of what you’re saying.
I haven’t written much about my challenges with anorexia nervosa, you would think that I would since it is as much a part of me and my mindset as is my need for approval. Eating disorders are so complicated, to describe and to diagnose, unfortunately. No one ever wakes up and says “today I will develop an eating disorder” It is so insidious in the making, it is frightening. I decided after my freshman year of college, where I was utterly miserable away from home in Albany New York, upon transferring to a school close to home that I needed to lose weight. Being the good student that I was, I read about ways to lose weight and exercise was one of the tools, forgoing fat and sugar was another, eating smaller portions and then I found other ways as well. Increasing exercise to several times a day, restricting caloric intake to 1000 calories a day and then the piece de resistance, eating sugarless gum when you are hungry does two things, keeps your mind otherwise occupied from thinking of food since your salivary glands are theoretically at work and the sugar substitute is indigestible so it builds up in your intestines and when you actually eat food, it impedes its digestion and forces it through your system so it becomes an effective diuretic. All of these strategies are what I learned simply by reading health magazines, lack of knowledge and information can be dangerous. What made the information so dangerous is that I didn’t have the knowledge that I was suffering from an eating disorder and that my body image was so beyond warped that I was basically putting my life in danger.I weighed myself on a daily basis and the only thing that registered in my head was that I could lose five more pounds, this continued despite seeing the numbers, 105, 102, 96, 92 and so on. I was at my worst in London where I used to go to Euston Station to weigh myself at the scale, I had to translate stones into pounds and it worked out into 87 pounds. I’m 5 foot 6 so I was perilously skinny and I couldn’t see it. After London I had to go to France to see my family who hadn’t seen me since the summer before when I had weighed 125 pounds, needless to say that they were in complete shock. My tantine immediately took me to the doctor because they were convinced that I was suffering from some type of wasting disease, ironically they were correct, just the wasting disease was psychological, the weight loss was a symptom not the actual disease itself.
Nowadays, I still find myself being dictated to by food and my love/hate relationship with it, am I in danger of a complete relapse? Eight years ago I went through a mini relapse and five years ago was when I almost died from my irresponsible behavior, but I am better now. Writing has helped me so much with dealing with my various afflictions; depression, anxiety and eating. I am much happier these days and I attribute a lot of my peace of mind to writing.
Here with 250 words less:
I haven’t written much about my challenges with anorexia nervosa, you would think that I would since it is as much a part of me and my mindset as is my need for approval. Eating disorders are so complicated, to describe and to diagnose, unfortunately. No one ever wakes up and says “today I will develop an eating disorder” It is so insidious in the making, it is frightening.Lack of knowledge and information can be dangerous. What made the information so dangerous is that I didn’t have the knowledge that I was suffering from an eating disorder and that my body image was so beyond warped that I was basically putting my life in danger.I weighed myself on a daily basis and the only thing that registered in my head was that I could lose five more pounds, this continued despite seeing the numbers, 105, 102, 96, 92 and so on. I was at my worst in London where I used to go to Euston Station to weigh myself at the scale, I had to translate stones into pounds and it worked out into 87 pounds. I’m 5 foot 6 so I was perilously skinny and I couldn’t see it. After London I had to go to France to see my family who hadn’t seen me since the summer before when I had weighed 125 pounds, needless to say that they were in complete shock. My tantine immediately took me to the doctor because they were convinced that I was suffering from some type of wasting disease, ironically they were correct, just the wasting disease was psychological, the weight loss was a symptom not the actual disease itself.
Nowadays, I still find myself being dictated to by food and my love/hate relationship with it. Writing has helped me so much with dealing with my various afflictions; depression, anxiety and eating. I am much happier these days and I attribute a lot of my peace of mind to writing.
laurieanichols 