Daily prompt: Futures past

Tags

dreams, goals, postaday2015

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? How close or far are you from that vision?
I can remember, for as far back as my memory allows me to go, wanting to be a doctor. It wasn’t the science that drew me in, rather it was the healing and the nurturing that appealed to me. I remember whenever my young friends would get scraped or beat up, I would run home to get a warm facecloth, bandaids and hydrogen peroxide, all used to put them back together. Blood and open wounds never bothered me, I never went so far as to set a broken bone, but I did fashion myself a splint or two for my sprained fingers over the years. I also was the queen of splinter removal, I did it quickly and painlessly.

My failure became a reality due to my complete disbelief in myself and my capabilities, I let my insecurities and fear dictate my life for most of my youth. If ever there was a lesson my present-day self could give my younger self, it would be to go for my dreams no matter what, it wouldn’t matter which university, which medical school I went to, the most important part would be becoming a healer; chemistry, biochemistry and every other nightmare of a class would eventually be passed, the details didn’t have to overshadow the bigger picture.

My mother read me an article about a women who just got her medical license at 58 years old; I admire that woman so much. The thought of going back to university and medical school doesn’t appeal to me now, instead I am hellbent on getting published and writing as a career, that is the dream that drives me now. I am not going to allow any negativity to stop me from my goal.

Dog dreams

Tags

dreams, pets, postaday2015, sleep

Before having dogs, it had never occurred to me that pets could dream, when I was little spending time in France with my family and the family dogs; my cousins, my sister and I were more in tune with what the dogs were doing awake than when they were sleeping, so it never crossed my mind that a dog could dream.

Since having our pets Marshall the black Lab, Rex our glorious German Shepard, Tuck our one of a kind Beagle, Jack our baby and now Lulu our little lady; each and every dog has had their own unique sleeping and dreaming pattern. Tuck and Jack, perhaps by virtue of being the smallest, were and are the quietest when it comes to sleeping and dreaming; whereas Marshall and Rex, both dreamt of running and chasing things, perhaps in meadows or forests, their legs would flail as if galloping through the grass intent on catching whatever it was they were chasing. I would bet that both Marshall and Rex were chasing cats; Marshall was often teased by our neighbor Jim, he would  make kitty cat sounds and Marshall would run around searching for the source of the fake meows; it was always good for a laugh. Rex on the other hand, had a real life cat that he was obsessed with, her name was Skittles, he wanted her so badly, but thank goodness for her and for him, Skittles was always just out of reach, not that Rex didn’t try.

Lulu on the other hand takes the cake when it comes to be an active and noisy dreamer, boy can she snore!

http://youtu.be/br3vlnRHtjY

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=963191137025843

These two videos don’t do her snoring justice; she sounds like such a human when she lets loose with her deep sleep snoring, she cracks me up. 

Daily prompt: Fearless fantasies

Tags

dreams, fantasy, postaday2014

How would your life be different if you were incapable of feeling fear? Would your life be better or worse than it is now?

I would never say that my life would be better or worse, it would just be different. If I had decided to persuade my sister into going a little farther in our back packing trip to Istanbul Turkey with our new friends. I’m sure that my life wouldn’t be different, but I would have memories of Istanbul in my mind instead of having it on my bucket list. That would have been nice.

If I had decided to take the plunge right after graduation and gone to California to pursue law school then who knows where I would be. Honestly that is a huge question, because I haven’t the foggiest notion as to how I would have fared in law school. I do not do well under pressure when it comes to public speaking and that is a big part of first year law classes. Another reason why I didn’t go immediately afterwards is that I had horrible memories of dormitory life from back during my days at S.U.N.Y at Albany so I was extremely leary of what it was going to be like at law school at the University of California at Santa Clara.

My passion for law was primarily environmental and given that salaries for environmental lawyers are a mere pittance; I probably would have been saddled by quite a bit of debt starting out in my professional life; but I would have attorney at law on a shingle somewhere. That wasn’t the primary reason why I didn’t go, but it was in the balance of factors influencing my decision.

Would I have married and had children if I had been an attorney? I am not sure, I can see myself get carried away with my work, not allowing for time to have a personal life.

I do not play these fantasy games except for the rare writing exercise because I cannot imagine my life without my family and I know that I would not have been happier as an attorney, that is just a title.

I really have some wacky dreams sometimes

Tags

dreams, postaday2014, vivid

I normally don’t write about my dreams because while they are always very vivid, they are usually about the same thing; my family in France and me being with them. After a while they would bore people because no matter how realistically I could paint my friends, the portrait of my dreams, the same dream, no matter how beautiful, would get boring after a while. I never get bored because my emotional response, though always the same, is so happy and content that how in the world could that ever get boring?

Now last night was a whole different story; my dream took me to an entirely different universe. Nothing earth shattering, but just so weird. My dream had me on a college campus; a collage of my high school St. Francis Prep and the University of Miami where our daughter goes. Both my parents were in my dream which was nice; I don’t often dream of my father since he passed away so when he pops up it is always a bonus. I have never been athletically gifted; I have always participated, but it wasn’t very pretty. The reason that I am prefacing my non-existent athletic talents is because in my dream I was a part of the football team, I think that my position was tight end, I am not sure. But I wasn’t only just a team player, I was also the letter writer. I worked with the coach who was a nun from my high school and on behalf of our school and our football team I had written two letters to Harvard University asking to be their football team for the next four years on scholarship for the entire team. Harvard University accepted based on my letters and the coach opened up the envelope showing us a check of 54,000,000.00 dollars. In my dream that check of 54 million dollars was so very real, I could touch it and right after I saw the check, I rushed home to tell my mother that I had been accepted to Harvard on a football scholarship for the four entire years. It felt so very real, I felt myself collapsing on the floor when I tried to say the words with a straight face “I was going to Harvard on a football scholarship” My father came into the room and I turned to tell him the same thing and I fell to the floor laughing hysterically once again trying to spit out the words Harvard and football and me in the same sentence. I remember telling my mother that at last she could tell everyone proudly that she had a daughter who was going to Harvard on scholarship. Ouch I wonder where that came from, I am being facetious, I know where that came from, underneath I am still craving my mother’s approval. Isn’t it funny that it is a lifetime thing with some people; this need for their parent’s approval never goes away, no matter how old you get?

I suppose that my getting Harvard’s acceptance and scholarship based on the two letters I had written must mean that I have confidence in my letter writing ability, I think? I have never put much stock in dream analysis, but I would guess that my dream last night is pretty straightforward.

It was so lifelike and extremely vivid. I could feel myself laughing, at least in my head, I wonder if I was laughing out loud in my sleep. I was alone because my husband leaves early and I woke up at 10:00, if I was laughing in my sleep I can only imagine how silly I must have looked. Oh well, I may never know.

Daily prompt: Talking in your sleep

Tags

dreams, postaday2014, sleep talking

Have you ever eavesdropped on a conversation you weren’t supposed to? Tell us about a time when it was impossible not to overhear a conversation between people who didn’t know you were there. What was the conversation about? How did it make you feel?

On the subway or in enclosed spaces, how can one escape listening in on other’s conversations? Even more problematic, what to do when you are sharing a bed or a bedroom with a sleep talker? I haven’t really ever deciphered anyone’s sleep talk, it was always garbled or mumbled and those two sleepers were my baby girl and my hubby. I, on the other hand, talk in my sleep according to my hubby, but when I do, it is in French. So far I haven’t said anything interesting.

Except for this one time, I was at my cousin’s house near Marseilles and my cousins Leon, Didier and I were sleeping in the living room. The next morning, my cousin Didier said that he was shocked and embarrassed by the things that I had mumbled in my sleep and it was a family scandal that I should say such things. I was mortified, I was 13 and I couldn’t imagine what I might have said, but Didier was so serious, he really had me going. I finally wore him down with my pleading and guessing, that he at last told me what I had said during my sleep. It was so very bad, I never spoke in this manner, I am a little embarrassed to share it with you but here goes, cover your ears if you are faint of heart. I said “merde, sh*t, f**k” in my sleep. I didn’t know then what I was dreaming about, it must have been a doozy of a dream, but it made my cousin Didier’s day to torment me and poke fun at me. He has the tendency to enjoy teasing his loved ones mercilessly, I should feel honored to be in that special group and I do feel lucky to have cousins that love me and tease me. It’s all in good fun.

My baby boy is pursuing his dream

Tags

dreams, guitar, music, postaday2013, vocals

http://www.underthegunreview.net/2013/07/15/vanities-post-first-studio-documentary/

I hope that this link worked, I am a very proud maman. Our baby boy is 100% committed to his passion for music and to see him in action is so exciting. It will be an incredible journey and my hubby and I are just happy to be the support system for our son as he walks down his chosen path dedicated to his music.

p.s Our baby boy is the one who sings “look me in the eyes” the first young man is the “screamer” and our son provides the accompanying vocals.

Me in ten years

Tags

dreams, future, me, possibilities, postaday2012

• October 11, 2012

• Olay Night Cream

  In ten years, I’ll be fifty-five, I know that there will be more wrinkles and less firmness, my hubby and I will be living in Boston. We’ll be taking relaxing vacations just the two of us, we’ll be wandering the world, steering clear of theme parks. Our children will be busy determining their career paths and social lives. Who knows if we will be grandparents.

Dreams and their unintended consequences

Tags

angst, dreams, housekeeping, moods, physical labor, postaday2012, stress mangement

Have you ever had a dream that shook you all day long?  I had a dream last night that came out of nowhere, actually I shouldn’t say nowhere, but rather from the deep recesses of my emotional pysche that left me shaken, unsettled and angst ridden. Most everyone carries emotional scars but generally speaking, they don’t affect your day to day, normally scars means that they have been put away and you get on with your life. But when they come to the surface unbidden, accidentally in a dream, it really throws you for a loop. I think it’s because you are ill prepared for how scars can still inflict pain.

The means by which I deal with angst or if I am out of sorts is by physical labor. Thus today, since it is getting chilly, I decided to take out the three air conditioners from the windows and bring them back up into the attic. I find physical labor is the best method for me personally to dissipate feelings of stress, anger or anxiety. However, maybe I should specify, that even as I hold to this stress management technique, my house is not an impeccable showplace. Thankfully these feelings don’t assail me too often so my housekeeping skills don’t get applied as assiduously as one would think.

I am hoping that tonight I will dream nice pleasant dreams and wake up with my usual optimistic outlook. It is so much nicer looking at a glass half full than seeing it as half empty.