Back in the “saddle” again

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difficult, novel, postaday2014, writing

Yeepee for me, yesterday I got back to writing on my novel. I know it has been a little too long away from my novel, there is no excuse in the world that I can offer to justify my lack of progress.

I have to admit that I am entering the New York phase of my book with trepidation. I am not entirely sure how or where to proceed, I know how I am going to remedy that. I am going to write up an outline with ideas and thoughts as to what my goals are for the New York part of the saga. I have already done some historic research so I am good there, it is more on the emotional side and my character’s feelings about her new home, being away from her family, meeting her love’s friends and family; how much excitement, how much homesickness, how much loneliness and how much infatuation for the new city to describe and put into the pages. So there is where I am.

I tell you, I “knew” that writing a novel was really, really hard. I just never quite understood how wrenching the words can be to put on paper, how hard it is to translate emotions into words and even dialogue is a tough nut to crack. I refuse to rush myself, I don’t want to make it about the finish line, I want this to be about the characters and how they feel, where they are and have them get to their place at the correct point in time. I am working really hard to not be negative about my writing or get bogged down in self-doubt. I need to forge ahead one page at a time or two if I’m feeling energetic. That is what I need to focus on; type and move the story forward.

It is hard, but it is so worth it.

Breaking through stumbling blocks

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difficult, emotional, novels, pacing, postaday2013, sitting, writing

Earlier today I responded to a prompt about tears of joy versus tears of sadness. After I had written my response, I took Jack, my trusty Jack Russell, for a walk and during my walking and thinking time, I was writing my novel in my head as usual and I felt tears building in my eyes because my heroine is 10 short days from boarding a steam ship, leaving her Paris behind. I know that there will be adventures galore, but she is leaving her friends and family for destination and life unknown with only the love of her life to guide her. I have finally gotten these two love birds to the pivotal point of the book, the big au revoir to France and hello to the United States.

I was a little surprised at how spontaneously my tears came to my eyes when I thought of my girl saying good bye to France. It’s a book, a book that I’m writing, I know it’s all in my head and I still had tears. I can be such a ninny sometimes. I hope that someone will have tears in their eyes at some point if they ever get to read this book, if I ever get my backside in gear to finally finish it. I’m still working on it. I had the worst thought that erupted in my head while I was at the post office talking to two of my friends; I was sharing my writer’s woes and then it spilt out from my lips. What if after this is all said and done, no one wants to publish it or anything and it gets put in the attic somewhere and sometime after I am dead and gone, some one finds it and gets it published because it is then a fashionable subject, wouldn’t that just be awful. I don’t know why I think such silly thoughts, I was experiencing frustration I guess. Writing is HARD.

Writing for nanowrimo, day one.

Tags

challenge, difficult, fiction, postaday2012, writing

Writing is hard. I should be more specific, when I write everyday either with a prompt or without one, the most difficult thing for me is to find something to write about. Once I find it, be it Jack or the storm or the loss of our beloved Rex, once I start writing to you guys, the words flow and my two fingers type along without a care in the world.

Not so with my book. It feels like the words are being torn out of my head and it is almost painful to type them. It is only fiction, well you can argue it is historical fiction because I have researched the setting of my novel, the gay 1920’s of Paris and prohibition era New York City, but still it is fiction. I have the story in my head, I know that it is a grand love story between my two principal characters, I know where they are going and why. It seems to be the whole emotional aspect that is perhaps difficult for me.

 

Maybe it is because I want to try to get it published that makes me so very apprehensive as I write it? Perhaps I am questioning whether or not it is any good? For how can it be good if it is similar to pulling teeth out of my skull?

I have written 2000 words today, part two of my book. I will not spend everyday bemoaning my insecurities and anxieties, I promise you that. I just needed to vent all of this so that tomorrow I can start writing with less baggage weighing me down. One needs to off load every once in a while. Thank you for listening.