Onto plan B

Tags

cancer, postaday2016, treatment

My chemotherapy isn’t working, the tumor in my lung has grown, so my doctor is now busy working on plan B, getting me into an immunotherapy program and/or a clinical trial, he’s not only doing that,  he also got me into Dana Farber this Thursday for a second opinion, he told me this morning that he will be contacting my rheumatologist to further discuss the state of my rheumatoid arthritis, this is important because it will determine my eligibility to participate in trials and immunotherapy programs and he will be calling the doctor at Dana Farber to get him up to speed before Thursday. Sean is also starting the paperwork to get me all set to start as soon as possible. We are hitting this from all angles so I feel good about that, I also know my cancer is a lazy one, it takes its time spreading so we have time to get this right, moreover I’m a youngish, healthy, active and optimistic person, all bonus points on my side in this battle.

So the adventure continues, this time with a plan B.

Back in the saddle

Tags

cancer, postaday2016, treatment

Today was day one of my new treatment, it wasn’t too bad, Tara my nurse tried very hard to get the I.V going but after two tries, she called in reinforcements and the third time was the charm. After that I settled down with my iPhone and waited for the ninety minutes to trickle away.

I feel pretty good, a little tired, but heck I’m always tired. We came down to visit with my mother, I might feel a little worse for wear tomorrow, but I don’t think I will. I may sing a different tune next week, but for now, so far so good.

Good news

Tags

cancer, postaday2016

We got the results from the scans and it is good news! The nodule in my right lung has grown, but nothing else is percolating and that’s the good news. My MRI shows a small benign tumor, but Doctor Sean is confident that it has nothing to do with my cancer. He is sending me to a neurosurgeon to make absolutely positive he’s right, to err on the side of caution, but I’m sure the neurosurgeon will concur with Doctor Sean and send me on my merry way.

Otherwise, I am gearing myself up for Monday, my first round of chemotherapy, it’ll be fine, Doctor Sean has my anti-nausea prescriptions ready, I’m going in with a positive attitude and I’ll roll with the punches.

My prognosis is in…

Tags

cancer, postaday2016, therapy

We met my medical oncologist at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, Doctor Gainor, he was very pleasant, very nice, he spent a lot of time with us, explaining everything, he took the time to lay out the reasons for continued chemotherapy, that was my main concern. He took a deep breath and broke the news as well as anyone could given what the news turned out to be, the squamous cell carcinoma had decided to take a road trip into my blood stream, it is now systemic. So basically there isn’t a cure for my squamous cell carcinoma, I am going to have chemotherapy for as long as it takes to keep the cancer in check. I’m still in shock at the news, my mind hasn’t wrapped itself around the concept of having a long term relationship with chemo. I have to say Doctor Gainor was very sensitive to our emotions when he gently told us that my cancer was incurable and my chemotherapy was to be ongoing, intermittent with CT scans, monitoring the size of the tumors in my lungs plus keeping a lookout for any new tumors elsewhere.

Before my treatment starts, I have one more CT scan to establish another baseline and a MRI for my brain, I’ve been getting headaches, so they want to rule out any possibility of tumors in the brain, it is highly doubtful that I have any in my brain, they are just being extremely vigilant and diligent before we start my chemo cycles.

I’m in shock, it all feels surreal, but I feel positive, I flashed on something Gandolf said to Frodo in the “Lord of the Rings” 

“All that is for you to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.” Those words inspired me and gave me comfort.

It’ll be fine.

I love my doctor

Tags

cancer, doctors, postaday2016

Today I had another follow up visit with my oncologist Dr. Mullally, I am so lucky to have him as my doctor. The first thing he did was come in, give me a big bear hug and tell me congratulations. He was thrilled with the results of the endoscopic biopsies, negative and that my treatments proved successful. I have had more than my share of doctors and he is a singular figure in medicine where he is so caring and so affectionate, you feel like a friend cared for and important. I have never felt like that before, some of my doctors had nice bedside manners, but nothing compared to Dr. Mullally’s.

Basically for this coming year, I will be visiting with Dr. Mullally every other month, getting PET scans every three months and getting blood work when I am visiting with Dr. Mullally, my health will be kept well on track under his watchful eye.

Between my husband, our children and Dr. Mullally, I was in the best hands during my ordeal. I know how extremely lucky I am with my wonderful outcome, I am very grateful. 

Another endoscopy done

Tags

cancer, postaday2016

I had this endoscopy done because I’m still experiencing pain in my esophagus, so this procedure was exploratory. The results, instead of finding the exact source of my pain, yielded wonderful results, the doctor could not physically see any sign of the tumor, it is really gone. He of course took biopsies to be on the safe side, but when I saw him after the procedure, he was in very good spirits and spoke confidently about there being no sign of the tumor, there is a lot of scar tissue and signs of increased spastic activity, but this isn’t anything to worry about, the spasms are a normal state of affairs regarding my esophagus. I came away from the procedure feeling really good and unbelievably hungry. The endoscopy took place at 12:30, I didn’t have any breakfast and the procedure was cutting into the lunchtime hour, so afterwards I was STARVING.

My husband took me to the Roadside Diner in Amherst, where the medical facility is located and treated me to two eggs over easy, sausage and rye toast, easily my favorite breakfast this side of the Atlantic Ocean. Over in France I have my own favorite breakfast, a few pieces of toasted sliced baguette, butter and preserves with cafe au lait, coffee with milk and a pain aux raisins, a raisin Danish. The breakfast at the Roadside Diner hit the spot, their coffee wasn’t the greatest, a little old, but it did the trick, it gave me my jolt of caffeine.

This is great news, my husband feels relieved in a way he wasn’t before with the PET scan, here he feels he has definitive proof that the treatments worked and he will be able to sleep better at night. I’m glad he feels better, it makes me feel better as well.

News at last and it’s good news

Tags

cancer, postaday2016

My doctor called me and my husband to tell us the good news, the treatments did what they were supposed to do and the PET scan showed the best results that can be expected at this time. So I am free of more chemo and the possibility of surgery, really good news. The next step will be in 3 months time, a CAT scan and a PET scan to make sure everything stays copacetic. When I had the doctor on the phone, my brain was racing so while he was explaining the PET scan results, my comprehension pretty much went out the door, I was waiting for the words cancer free, which didn’t come so I interrupted to ask if I can say cancer free, after some hesitation, my doctor said yes. So there you have it, I have nothing to worry about until the next round of tests, good news to me.

PET scan and waiting

Tags

cancer, postaday2016

Today at 8:00 a.m I went for my first post treatment PET scan, this scan will tell us if my treatment was successful or not. I was nervous last night, calm during the scan, I actually fell asleep in the machine, now I’m back to feeling nervous. I keep on thinking positive thoughts, but my thoughts aren’t having the desired effect on my stomach. My doctor, Dr. Sean, promised to call us tomorrow with the news, be it good or bad, so until we hear from Dr. Sean, I’m fairly certain that my stomach will be in turmoil. My husband is feeling the same way as I am, we’re thinking about going to see the newest Marvel movie tomorrow, something to distract us until we hear from Dr. Sean. We would go see the earliest screening so we would be less inclined to miss the doctor’s call.

I appreciate everyone’s well wishes and positive thinking, it helps so much to know I have all kinds of friends in my corner, my WordPress community, my FaceBook community and my immediate community as well as my entire family, here and overseas. When you are dealing with a tricky disease like cancer, it means so much to have so much emotional support. You don’t feel alone in your fight.

I’ll be writing more tomorrow, so until then I am going to lose myself in t.v watching, I do that very well.

Getting a handle on my anxiety

Tags

cancer, postaday2016

I have been able to put my cancer diagnosis and treatment experience  out of my mind for the most part. However, this morning I realized that my PET scan is next Thursday, it came up so quickly, I hate when time gets away from me. My stomach started churning in anxiety mode, which if anyone has experience with anxiety, they know it isn’t pleasant at all. I’m trying to think of things that will banish the worries and the uncertainty that I have with the results of my treatment. One never knows if chemo and radiation did what they were supposed to do, eradicate the cancer, what if they only did most of what they were supposed to do? The results hinge on how thorough the chemo and radiation treatments were, there has to be nothing left for it to be considered a success. I don’t feel 100% better, I feel 65% better, I know it is still soon and I should expect to feel horrible at certain times and it is at those times that I feel most vulnerable to my feelings of anxiety. It makes sense, we are always more susceptible to feelings of depression and anxiousness when we are in pain, fatigued or both and I am both. I never realized how hard this journey could be or would be, I have such admiration for everyone who has triumphed over cancer, their strength and determination are testament to their character. I have tried to be strong but there are days when it seems impossible, today I am fighting against it and writing about it is helping; getting my bad feelings out onto the page gives me strength and renews my innate optimism.

I have been relieved of the last vestige of my chemo treatment

Tags

cancer, postaday2016

   
 Today one of my best friends in the world Debbie, took me to the hospital today to have the doctor remove my Pro-PICCT delivery system out of my arm. What a relief, no more worrying about having it dressed or whatever it was they called it when they inserted saline into the device. After we were done, we went out for breakfast and then we came back to my house where I made the formal introduction between Debbie and Stanley, she couldn’t get over how big he is and how much of a Maman’s boy he happens to be, especially when Papa isn’t around.

The motley crew were very well behaved, I was proud of them and Debbie is such a dog lover she couldn’t get enough of all three of them. I am so blessed to have a friend like her, I count my lucky stars.

I have to say that today was an excellent day.