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I had to dig out my funky glasses from France, because I have snapped the plastic rims of all my reading glasses, the ones that come in packages of three at T.J Max, hanging in the aisle right next to the cashier, part of the impulse buy department each store uses as their secret weapon.
I am sitting in the infusion center at Cooley Dickinson watching t.v and talking to my husband, who in between conversations and shows, checks in with work through the magic of WiFi, we have about an hour and a half left, we had a wonderfully constructive conversation with Doctor Z, the pain management specialist, he gave me a more nuanced understanding of what I should be doing for myself in relation to what level of pain and anxiety should be acceptable. According to Doctor Z, I was operating under a misunderstood notion of what should be acceptable, pain is not acceptable nor is anxiety and he was here to give me permission to accept the idea that pain-free is the goal, anxiety free is the goal and suffering in silence in very, very contradictory to getting well.
Having my husband with me during these conversations is vital because he reminds me of the concerns and the questions I had just over the weekend, without him involved, my doctors wouldn’t get the full picture of what I deal with when they are not there. He serves a very important function, trust me, my husband is more than just a handsome face. π
Loved this, loved the post and love you’re doctors.
Pain free and anxiety free, the latter being of paramount importance.
And, love the glasses! They are the color of my national flag…
My dear friend, your words always make me feel strong and happy. Knowing that my glasses makes you think of your flag makes them more special to me then before, I loved their vibrant colors and unapologetic design, now I know why, you are unapologetically vibrant and dynamic with so much beautiful design to your heart. π
On my dear Laurie. I am following you keenly already I see you sifting through what counts and really getting down to business.
So much of this I already know yet your experience is yours alone.
Write, write, write. Edit when you’re healed. Write through the pain, write through the anxiety and the darkness, write through the days of extraordinary insight – write in that lovely way of yours, everything.
As always sending you friend rays from across continents and sending your beautiful husband a big African calabash to put you and his entire family in and walk across the waters.
I will, I most certainly will my dear friend. I was so lucky the day I found you on WordPress! Traveling by way of calabash sounds so exciting, I look forward to it! π
Good support makes all of the difference in the world….Cheers!
I love the no pain no pain philosophy!
Me too though it’s hard for me to think I deserve to be pain-free, I’m weird I guess. I have a lot of guilt, maybe on some subconscious level I think I should be in pain, I don’t know. I am trying to do what my doctors are telling me to do.
Think of it this way: pain soaks up the energy in your body, lessening your ability to fight off the bad stuff and heal. As a devoted wife, mother, writer, blogger, friend, cook, etc, it would be selfish to slow down your recovery just to give in to your need to be in pain. Whaddaya think?
You are a genius, sensitive soul. I cannot argue with any of that. I told you I was slightly messed up, but I will fight against my weirdness. Thanks Rachel π Thanks Cricket and Butterfly π
A supportive family is half the battle in any challenge, I think.
And I’m glad to see your doctor cares. We hear so many horror stories about doctors too busy caring for patients to actually care about patients, that it’s good to hear that’s not always the case.
Sending you hugs xxx
Dearest Tilly, you’re right having doctors who really care makes such a difference and I can’t say enough about the wonderful nurses. I am very blessed during this trying time and I am very lucky to have a wonderful fiend like you π xxooo
Hahahahaha! I love being your wonderful fiend! π π π π π
It was the pain meds speaking I swear! Freud was not involved, my sweet fiend π Oh Lordy you are most definitely such a sweet friend. Xxxooooxoxoxo
Mmmmmwwwwahh! π
LOL
It sounds like you have a great doctor and I’m so glad you are agreeing with pain-free and anxiety-free. Much love to you and your wonderful husband.
Thanks Jules, it’s hard but I have so much support that it is making it easier to bear. A million hugs Jules xxoo