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When I was diagnosed, I barely remember the date, it has become so foggy what with all of the appointments and the deluge of information, I never thought that keeping myself “comfortable” would become a full-time occupation. In between the pain medication, the anxiety medication, the keeping regular medication, making sure that I eat between 60 to 85 grams of protein a day and that I get an uninterrupted night’s sleep, it is a lot to manage. There are days when I feel overwhelmed, not because I am frightened, but because having my body be in constant communication with my brain is too much. It seems everything in my body is at odds with each other and with me and it is a lot to handle 24/7. If it seems that I am complaining, I apologize but I needed to vent, I write daily because it helps me cope, but there are many days when what I write doesn’t reflect my inner turmoil, it reflects how I want to see my day being, full of hope, optimism and happiness, but not what is really going on inside. Usually I don’t mind keeping everything inside, today I choose to write what I feel because it is what is best for me and my psyche; it does a person good to release the pain and the tension.
laurieanichols 
Persevere, Laurie – keep on keeping on eating, sleeping, writing and following the doctors’ advice. Write about whatever bubbles to the surface for you. It’s always good therapy to hit “publish”!
You’re right Sandra, I felt lighter after hitting the publish button. 😀
I understand your pain even though we can’t feel it. Michael doesn’t have what you have, but he has pain all over, anxiety, and depression. It is good to unload on occasion. I’ll be glad to listen anytime! xoxoxo
Xxxxxxxoooooo
You are strong and determined! You will make it through this. It’s going to be the biggest challenge you have faced however, you have yet to fail any challenge! Love you!
Thanks sweetie, when you say it I believe it!
Yup, venting is an important part of the process. Do it as often as needed. You’ve a tough job to do, a little vent is normal, expected and even a bit healthy. Hang in there, you’ll make it.
Thanks Andrew! I have been reading your account of your own experiences here and there for a while and they have been very inspiring and helpful for me. Thanks for being so forthright, it opened my eyes quite a bit. I’m so glad you pulled through so well. 😀
You’ll come through as well. Someday this will just be a bad memory.
I like how you put it, soon a very bad memory, thanks Andrew. 😀
I wouldn’t have believed you if you kept everything happy happy. I mean, the doctors are attacking your body in myriad ways, at hyperspeed. Yes, it’s to help you in the long run, but in the right now? It sucks. I think you need to practice your complaining skills. Cricket enjoys at moaning and sharing her pain with others by making sad puppy dog faces. These seem to be very satisfying for her.
You’re right, I do stink at complaining, it makes me feel guilty because I know there are so many who have it worse than I, but you hit a gold mine in helping me get better at it. Jack is very much like Cricket, I’ll just mirror him when he’s not looking, that will get my skills at complaining up to speed. LOL
Dogs are great teachers!
So true!
Sometimes in life dealing with a circumstance becomes our full time job. Dealing with cancer is not a fun job and yeah, overwhelming. Hang in there.
Thanks Chris!!
Hi Laurie, your doing well expressing your thoughts and feelings. We are all here willing and praying for you.Try to push through all the negative stuff. Your Writing is great, so full of warmth and wit.
Kate.
Dear Kate, thank you so much for your kind words, you always know just what to say to make me smile. I appreciate it so very much. Xxoo
Once again, Laurie, I look for your posts every day (I’m a bit late today – sorry!) You are a person who has always stood out for me, not just a blog friend but a real friend. I wish I lived closer to give you a hug. Much love x
Jules I have felt the same way about our friendship for a long time now. I talk about you with my mother as if we are in each other’s lives, which we pretty much are since we read each other posts and respond to each other, give each other pep talks, that is what friendship is all about and yes I wish you were much closer because I would love a hug. Hugs Jules xxxooo