This picture is what I am keeping in my thoughts as I deal with my diagnosis, my latest test the endoscopic ultrasound went well, no complications. The verdict is we are dealing with Stage 2 squamous cell carcinoma, located very high in my esophagus. So this is still good news, relatively, considering the fact it is still curable, we were hoping for better, but we will take anything curable, the road to recovery will be slightly longer and more problematic that’s all.

I am writing we because this doesn’t effect just me, it effects my entire family; my husband , my children, my mother, my sister and the entirety of my family and my friends. It’s easier to deal with when I think of it communally I suppose.

I am vacillating between the mild freak out to how bad can it be? If you can believe it. Lol I was washing my hair this morning and I was thinking, enjoy it as much as possible because it may not be happening much after January. That thought lasted all of a few minutes, I look kind of nice with short hair. Maybe this will be the push I need to stop coloring my hair, I’ll finally embrace the gray. 

The rest of it is a lot of the unknown, daunting but I keep telling myself, everything works out in the end and if it’s not working out, it’s not yet the end.