The cone flowers are just starting to share their beauty, the majority of mine are a delicate pink with two or three white ones in the mix, just enough to highlight the pinks in their grouping. The delicate lavender flower up above is something that pops up in my garden haphazardly, I have never planted them, they just make their presence known every year, this year I don’t have many, I hope they haven’t decided to pack up their bags and head out of town.
I have been pushing back hard against these feelings of panic, dread and anxiety that are cropping up despite my best efforts. Mindfullness may be a buzz word, I know, but I believe in it, I went out in the garden to take pictures, detailed pictures of nature as its best or at least how she rewards me in my little backyard. Sitting back on my heels, patiently waiting for clarity and detail of petals to come into focus on my screen, along with the gradation of the background, I could feel my center shifting back to calm. The moment was shortlived because my mind became distracted by the work needed to be done right now in the garden, I often fail to see the beauty of what I have planted and nurtured, for the sight of all the weeding that needs to be done and bang boom, back comes the nauseating flutters of panic, dread and anxiety. I can’t tell you where it comes from, it is somewhere buried deep, I prefer to bury these feelings and concentrate on my more normal setting, easy-going and optimistic, though there are days when being optimistic, despite being a natural way of being, is too exhausting to maintain.
Mindfullness and centering, two words that have taken up the internet, they may seem trite to the uninitiated, but to those who have practiced yoga and/or meditation, the results are pretty wonderful, if only for the peace of mind it can bring.
Writing this down helps a lot, it gets my mind to deconstruct my emotions and while I sit here, typing on my little keyboard, I practise cleansing breaths, they feel really nice; I can hear my yoga instructors in my head, speaking slowly and hypnotically, reminding me to focus on my toes, breathing the tension out of them, then gently proceeding up the legs, next the belly, the arms, the shoulders and finishing with the neck and the head.
Sometimes, it’s as easy as taking a deep breath.