I have been looking for the mail every day, hoping for a response from the other publishing houses and I have been scanning my email as well. I have to confess that the thoughts that have been rattling around my head when I open my mailbox and my inbox haven’t been very charitable when I experience disappointment. “How long does it take to read a few political essays” “Why won’t they answer back?” “How bad can it be?” “How far under the pile am I?” These aren’t productive thoughts and I squash them as soon as they pop up, but they do pop up nevertheless.
Then there are the few moments where I allow myself a tiny fantasy of opening up the mailbox and seeing a big envelope from Harvard Press. I open it and there is a contract with my name on it alongside the title of my book. I think that if that actually happened I would faint dead away in a heap outside right next to our mailbox and the ambulance would be called. That could be mortifying, but who would care I was published!
I am getting ahead of myself. Anyway it is a nice daydream and puts a smile on my face; it also keeps me hoping and positive, which is very important.