, ,

How would your life be different if you were incapable of feeling fear? Would your life be better or worse than it is now?

I would never say that my life would be better or worse, it would just be different. If I had decided to persuade my sister into going a little farther in our back packing trip to Istanbul Turkey with our new friends. I’m sure that my life wouldn’t be different, but I would have memories of Istanbul in my mind instead of having it on my bucket list. That would have been nice.

If I had decided to take the plunge right after graduation and gone to California to pursue law school then who knows where I would be. Honestly that is a huge question, because I haven’t the foggiest notion as to how I would have fared in law school. I do not do well under pressure when it comes to public speaking and that is a big part of first year law classes. Another reason why I didn’t go immediately afterwards is that I had horrible memories of dormitory life from back during my days at S.U.N.Y at Albany so I was extremely leary of what it was going to be like at law school at the University of California at Santa Clara.

My passion for law was primarily environmental and given that salaries for environmental lawyers are a mere pittance; I probably would have been saddled by quite a bit of debt starting out in my professional life; but I would have attorney at law on a shingle somewhere. That wasn’t the primary reason why I didn’t go, but it was in the balance of factors influencing my decision.

Would I have married and had children if I had been an attorney? I am not sure, I can see myself get carried away with my work, not allowing for time to have a personal life.

I do not play these fantasy games except for the rare writing exercise because I cannot imagine my life without my family and I know that I would not have been happier as an attorney, that is just a title.