I normally don’t write about my dreams because while they are always very vivid, they are usually about the same thing; my family in France and me being with them. After a while they would bore people because no matter how realistically I could paint my friends, the portrait of my dreams, the same dream, no matter how beautiful, would get boring after a while. I never get bored because my emotional response, though always the same, is so happy and content that how in the world could that ever get boring?
Now last night was a whole different story; my dream took me to an entirely different universe. Nothing earth shattering, but just so weird. My dream had me on a college campus; a collage of my high school St. Francis Prep and the University of Miami where our daughter goes. Both my parents were in my dream which was nice; I don’t often dream of my father since he passed away so when he pops up it is always a bonus. I have never been athletically gifted; I have always participated, but it wasn’t very pretty. The reason that I am prefacing my non-existent athletic talents is because in my dream I was a part of the football team, I think that my position was tight end, I am not sure. But I wasn’t only just a team player, I was also the letter writer. I worked with the coach who was a nun from my high school and on behalf of our school and our football team I had written two letters to Harvard University asking to be their football team for the next four years on scholarship for the entire team. Harvard University accepted based on my letters and the coach opened up the envelope showing us a check of 54,000,000.00 dollars. In my dream that check of 54 million dollars was so very real, I could touch it and right after I saw the check, I rushed home to tell my mother that I had been accepted to Harvard on a football scholarship for the four entire years. It felt so very real, I felt myself collapsing on the floor when I tried to say the words with a straight face “I was going to Harvard on a football scholarship” My father came into the room and I turned to tell him the same thing and I fell to the floor laughing hysterically once again trying to spit out the words Harvard and football and me in the same sentence. I remember telling my mother that at last she could tell everyone proudly that she had a daughter who was going to Harvard on scholarship. Ouch I wonder where that came from, I am being facetious, I know where that came from, underneath I am still craving my mother’s approval. Isn’t it funny that it is a lifetime thing with some people; this need for their parent’s approval never goes away, no matter how old you get?
I suppose that my getting Harvard’s acceptance and scholarship based on the two letters I had written must mean that I have confidence in my letter writing ability, I think? I have never put much stock in dream analysis, but I would guess that my dream last night is pretty straightforward.
It was so lifelike and extremely vivid. I could feel myself laughing, at least in my head, I wonder if I was laughing out loud in my sleep. I was alone because my husband leaves early and I woke up at 10:00, if I was laughing in my sleep I can only imagine how silly I must have looked. Oh well, I may never know.