Tell us about one thing (or more) that you promised yourself you’d accomplish by the end of the year. How would you feel once you do? What if you don’t?
Everyone who has been following my blog for over three years will be sick and tired of this familiar theme by now; sorry but here goes: I promised myself that I would at last finish my novel by the end of this year; it has only been three nanowrimo marathons and it still isn’t done. I have a nice list of why’s, but the why’s don’t fill a screen; only dedication and will power will fill a screen and currently I am too tired to extend that amount of energy.
I have gotten my character Madeleine to New York. I have researched New York City 1926 fairly well; I have a solid notion of how it will end; the in betweens are a bit vague; how will she fill up her day in New York City while her lover goes about his daily business? That sort of thing.
Why am I stuck? I do not know, well I sort of know, but it still isn’t a very good excuse for not getting over it and just doing the work. It won’t hurt anything or cost me anything if I just sit down and write the words. Goodness knows; I do write every single day. All of you know that very well, I am faithful in that respect. Why am I not applying the same dedication to my novel? Well to be fair, this is far and away much easier then writing my novel, for me at least. When I write here, I feel as if I am writing a fun letter to you my friends so the words just flow from my brain to the screen, no worries, no angst. When I am writing my novel I am writing as my character and I feel her emotions and her truth and the words feel as if they are being ripped out of my gut and it is a little scary. I feel so much more exposed within the context of my novel then here in my blog. It’s weird because this blog is personal, but I feel very safe here, not raw and exposed as I feel when I am living in my novel.
Even within the realm of my political blog, I haven’t any qualms over filling the page. Politics can be quite incendiary, but that doesn’t stop me from writing everyday as well, I know that there are tons that disagree with my views, but I never feel threatened or intimidated so my posts flow very easily.
I have to do something; the longer I put it off, the longer it will lay around not getting done and before I die, I want this novel to be written with The End typed on the last page.