I have one complaint

Tags

depression, postaday2013, sunlight, winter blues, WordPress, writing

Yes I have a complaint. I do my best to not complain because there are way too many people in this world who live very difficult lives and I am blessed with everything that my family and I have, including Jack. My complaint is that it is getting dark earlier already, Nooooooooooooooo. One of the best pasts of spring and summer is the extended days that we get to enjoy and it is way too early to start seeing the decrease in daytime hours. It is starting to feel like hibernation time, I’m not ready!!!!!

I love thinking about baking pumpkin and apple pies, I love thinking about making butternut squash soups, broccoli soups and potato and leek soups. The prospect of stews and using my slow cooker is making my mouth water, all these things are very welcome. I just wish that I wouldn’t be making these in a twilight setting.

So yes in the grand scheme of things, my complaint is pretty laughable, but in my defense I have noticed that I am prone to depression when daylight becomes scarce. I definitely do fall victim to the winter blues, and even though I try to fight against it by not dwelling on the darkness and dismal days, that is when baking and cooking come into play, it is hard to keep myself upbeat for months at a time, the earlier nightfall comes week after week. For those who don’t experience depression, it’s more than just keeping a stiff upper lip or getting over it, there are a few strategies that work to help combat depression but sometimes those are just not enough. For me my surrounding environment plays a part and that is why I do dread the coming months of early night.

I am going to use WordPress to keep myself occupied and distracted by other people’s writing and stories, along with my baking and cooking, (sniff, sniff no more gardening). So that is my complaint, nothing earth shattering which in and of itself is a good thing, but a complaint nevertheless.

Daily prompt : Can’t get enough

Tags

addiction, cigarettes, postaday2013, writing

Have you ever been addicted to anything, or worried that you were? Have you ever spent too much time and effort on something that was a distraction from your real goals? Tell us about it.

I have written about my cigarette addiction before and how I stopped smoking finally after having smoked for a very long time. On November 1, it will be six years that I had my last cigarette. I had started smoking at the tender age of fourteen, trying to be cool like the older girls around school. Stupid, stupid I know but in my defense way back then, the public service announcements that we see today didn’t exist and everyone smoked. I remember seeing my teachers at school smoke, they had their teacher’s lounge and it was a smoke filled room. No one thought anything of it and seeing actors smoking on the small and big screen was part of the everyday fabric of life.

I am happy and thankful that I have been able to cut cigarettes out of my life for good. This time, as opposed to the seven other times that I have quit, the thought of ever putting a cigarette back to my lips is repugnant, this is a first. All the other times, I still physically craved cigarettes even after a few months of not smoking and I would tell myself, “I’ll just have the one” and off to the races I would go, the one cigarette turning into a pack of cigarettes before I knew it.

Now when I find myself thinking about smoking, I get nauseous and my stomach turns over and I would not trade this feeling for anything because it keeps me on the straight and narrow.

I was really enslaved by the cigarette, anytime I woke up in the middle of the night, I would smoke or else I couldn’t go back to sleep. The first thing that I did in the morning was have a cigarette and the last thing that I did before going to sleep was have a cigarette. I would have a cigarette with my coffee, I would have a smoke after eating, I would smoke the minute I stepped out the door, while I drove, I think that you get the general idea. I did everything with a cigarette so when I quit, I had to learn how to do everything without having a cigarette, no small feat. It took three years to get rid of the oral fixation, those three years are the years that I gained weight, I think close to twenty pounds, I have lost it since then because when I no longer associated my life with the need to put something to my lips, I was able to get through hours between meals doing other things beside putting things to my mouth. That was huge and a big triumph for me, also a big incentive to never smoke again because I would never want to go through that hardship ever again.

I wish everyone great luck to living with and through addictions whatever they may be, I know what addiction is like and it is not easy for anyone.