Full moon

When the full moon happens, you turn into a person who’s the opposite of who you normally are. Describe this new you.

I sometimes am not sure of who I am. I like to think of myself as not controlling but when I think about my eating disorder and how it impacts my life, even a recovering anorexic exerts as much control over herself as possible. Yet I do take pride in not being controlling, I suppose that is true in how I treat others and how I never need to be in control of those around me, just myself and my eating habits.

I used to think of myself as a great procrastinator but that was then, nowadays I have become much, much better about getting things over with, or more precisely put, bucking up to the order of business. I think that this change has come with maturity and life experience. More often than not, however badly you might imagine something to be, is not what it is in reality. Your dread and your fear are what really are the mind-killers. It does take a lot of inner fortitude to overcome what your mind's first inclination may be, if you ignore it for long enough, it might very well magically disappear, but that is never the case and often just one phone call or one well written letter will take care of the problem without the imagined horrors..

So since I am not entirely sure of who I am, since I am a work in progress, I am not entirely sure who would emerge during the full moon. Would it be a selfish, cruel werewolf? A lazy, pessimistic lounge about slouch? A self confident get up and go kind of woman? A workaholic? I don't know, but these flights of fancy don't really appeal to me. I would rather deal with the reality of a full moon, I will be in bed, fast asleep, dreaming of France and my family and all the goodies there are to eat over there that I am missing out being here.