No matter how long you do it for, parenting never ceases to present new challenges. When children leave the nest, you would think that the worrying would decrease to minimal levels. Until a phone call comes from a certain child who is away at school and unhappiness is on the other end of the telephone. The unhappiness is important to the said child but in the grand scheme of things, it does not register on a red alert which I am so very happy to report but still unhappiness is not an optimal thing for a college student, repercussions can multiply and then amplify the initial unhappiness, hence the worrying. I am grateful that said child calls often and I get to monitor the pulse of the emotional well-being of my baby. I am not worried about my baby in terms of her academics, I worry that certain acquaintances in her circle are sucking her emotional vitality away from her. So while I’m listening, I’m thinking that all she wants and needs is someone to listen, not offer advice. It was a little too hard to refrain from giving a little advice which I quickly stopped doing after she let me know that she isn’t me. I didn’t say it but what I really wanted to do was slap every single person responsible for making my baby girl unhappy.
I know that she will be fine but I am still not happy with those people. It is a part of life to learn how to deal with all types of people but usually you don’t have to live in such close quarters all the time. Experiences such as these do promote strength of character or so I have been told, but as a parent your first instinct is to want to shield your baby from these sort of experiences and when they are little you are allowed. Only when they are big do you get tortured with the fact that you have been relegated to observational status. Don’t care too much for the observational status when my baby is sad but I need to learn to accept it. She will be fine; she is bright, smart, strong, resilient and kind.
I love the fact that rather than worrying unduly about her, you have great confidence in your daughter. I say that is great parenting!
I can honestly say that my confidence is all because of her. She continues to impress me with her kindness and self reflection. I also employ a lot of deep breathing exercises and believe in “this too shall pass” and it all helps. Because it isn’t only about them, it is also about the world that surrounds them. Parenting is a never ending job as you well know.:)
The Laughing Housewife said:
The fact that she still calls is a good sign – those people might be trying to lead her astray but she keeps coming back to her moral compass – family – which suggests that she doesn’t want to get sucked in.
And I know exactly what you mean about slapping them!
I feel the same way, as long as they communicate with you and seek you out, no matter what they want to talk about, you are involved even if it is only listening. And like osmosis, all those little accumulative life lessons that you dispersed along the way sink in and help them make the better choice or so you hope. My hand was itching to slap, I tell you.:)
The Laughing Housewife said:
I know it!
You said it: “She will be fine; she is bright, smart, strong, resilient and kind.” Because even though parenting is challenging, you did a fine job and helped shape her into the kind of daughter who calls her Momma often and shares what is happening in the world. I say, Well Done, You.
Thank you so much for the vote of confidence, it means so much as you well know. Parenting is like a box of chocolates that you opened on the biggest roller coaster ride in the amusement park we call life.
PAULSON LOVES BOOKS said:
I admire your relationship with your daughter – mine is 20 and doesn’t respect me or God. All I can do is pray.
Thanks sweetie. I know that your daughter loves you and respects you, you have accomplished so much in your life. She isn’t perhaps showing it, but I know that inside she does. Parenting a young adult is as difficult as parenting a toddler I think, when she gets older and wiser your daughter will really understand. Deep breathing is what gets me through the tough times. 🙂