These uncertain economic times make me very nervous. I manage my anxiety by taking everything that worries me and break it down to one day at a time. I also say to myself "this too shall pass" . And I do a lot of deep cleansing breaths, very helpful, those deep breaths. Exhale the negativity, inhale the positivity.
Do I like surprises? I like the good kind and usually everyday has the potential to give you a good surprise., like on an early day in Spring, a flowering crocus can surprise you by adding a little beauty to your day. After a long day, your husband can surprise you with your favorite Chinese food takeout. Little things can make more of an impact on your daily life because even though they are little, the cumulative effect is what makes the impact.
The one bad surprise which ruined me for quite a while was the stupid murder of my father. That was a horrible, senseless surprise, one that I wasn’t prepared for, not that anyone could ever be prepared for a murder of someone’s loved one. I hope that I don’t ever have to go through a bad surprise like that ever again. It makes it very hard to believe in the sense of it all. Grief is funny that way, it can be suffocating at times or it leaves you cold. After eight years, I feel a deep sadness like a dark well inside, that feeling came the day that I realized that my father’s death was permanent. It isn’t constant but out of nowhere it will hit me hard, sometimes hard enough that I have to catch my breath.
Tomorrow will hold a surprise for the family at dinner time. Today, I had extra egg yolks from my prior foray into baking some delectable little French tea cakes called financiers. I googled “what to do with extra yolks” one of the suggestions was home-made pasta dough, which believe it or not, is on my bucket list. So that is what I did today. I think that I did it correctly because the finished dough actually looks like the picture on the Internet. You wouldn’t believe how rare that can be. Tomorrow I’m going to make a sausage and ricotta cheese filling and make home-made ravioli. It could be a good surprise or a not so tasty surprise. Either way, it will be an adventure in home-made pasta cooking.