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Is all fair in love and war? No, rules of civilization still apply. Rules of conduct, the moral code, gentlemen’s code of conduct, code of honor. These rules don’t get thrown in the rubbish bin simply because love or war are involved. Well, war is tricky because the whole point of war is to beat the other side. In the olden days before the introduction of technology, where the damage could be done from far away and the combatants were able to destroy their opponents food sources, ammunition and weaponry depots and demoralize them by attacking their civilians, war was basically limited to battlefields and soldiers. Is there any honor or fairness in two opposing armies meeting each other on a battlefield and fighting until either one side surrenders or they almost all die? I think some battle veterans would say yes, keep the women, children, the infirm safe. Nowadays, there is no honor in war and I have to say there has never been fairness either, which is why war is horrible.
laurieanichols 
I like the quote (although I have forgotten where it comes from) “who can say mankind has not progressed? In each war, we kill each other in new ways…”
Very little is fair in war. And in love? Perhaps if there is a lack of fairness, it isn’t love.
all is fair = no honor
Recast, “There is no honor in love and war”.
At least our current categories of “love” and “war.”